Flustered.

Feeling pretty down. Weighed myself today, and I was UP 5 pounds.

I was so emotional all week and we went out to dinner and had Mexican food and I had lots of chips and dip. I feel pretty let down.

Had a hard night tonight too. My stomach is in knots and I just feel sick and upset. I was excited earlier but now blah.

I get to this point where I just feel like why even try? Why do I think I am worth it? Why do I think I deserve it? I don't deserve anything in life. I don't even think I am worth anything to anyone in my life. I don't know why I try to do anything. I feel so much anguish over my life and what I've done to people. I feel like I can't do anything right. I'm not a great Mother, wife or even friend. My Mother doesn't want to be around me or my family. I don't even know why I've been put on this earth? What is it I am supposed to do? How can I ever be a leader of youth if I can't even be a good friend, wife or mother? I'm nothing.