Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hard day today..

First thing in the morning, this guy at work made me cry. :( He was so rude to me.. I know I've got a bit of PMS, so I'm already sensitive. He was just nasty to me. I just said OK to him, turned around and I could feel the tears begin to swell in my eyes.. I brushed it off, and said, whatever, but then I could feel the floodgates begin to open. Its been a long time since I cried like that! But then I was so pissed that I allowed someone to make me cry, that it made it worse.

I was in the bathroom, thank God I made it.. I waited till whoever was in there left, and my eyes were so red. Like I was crying for a week straight! Of course someone came into the bathroom and I felt like a douche. Luckily, I like her and she is pretty new like me, and I just told her some people are just rude. She totally understood.. but then my Supervisor walked it. Talk about freaking embarrassing. I hate people to see me cry, but especially people who are my superiors, argh. However, about an hour later she sent me an email and asked me if I was interested in playing bunco with her group, lol.

I've been really depressed.. and haven't been keeping up with my eating. I gained back 15 of the 30 I've lost. :( I just start thinking what the hell, it will never happen! I'm such a loser man..

I decided to start watching my carb intake anyway.. My Dr. says that to be able to even lose weight with the PCOS, I have to do it, because regular carbs make my insulin spike, so I'm insulin resistant. I just see so many people freaking lose the weight and they seem so much happier.

Anyway, I started back to that on Monday, I am down 2 pounds, which thrills me. Since I'm thinking about the WLS surgery again (finally have insurance that covers it!).. I know I will have to do a low carb/high protein diet in the future anyway. Plus with the PCOS, its just what I have to do if I want to get healthy!

We had a great vacation to the outer banks. I love it there. I was a little depressed coming back to real life.

My Dh is not feeling church again.. Ugh. I feel like such a fool for ever being optimistic that things would change.. however, I have also been feeling overwhelmed by everything going on. I honestly do not know how some people eat, breath, sleep church things and work full time jobs/raise their kids etc.

I'm feeling anxious for Monday, my son has his ear tube/adenoid surgery. :(

Anyway, it was just a hard day. I'm glad I'm off tomorrow. I think I will get my toes done!!

No more crying!


  1. Sounds like you have had a tough week! I'm so sorry you got upset by some jerk. I also HATE crying, especially in this type of situation. Congrats on your weight loss though! If it helps you feel better (maybe it will maybe it won't) Only 5% of people who lose weight are able to keep it off for any time without surgical intervention. I love my life after WLS, and with PCOS, you know how hard you have to work, and yet still seem like nothing is going the way it's supposed to! Before surgery, I would work out and work out and NEVER seemed to be able to take off more than a few pounds. I really hate PCOS! Hope your week starts getting better. Best wishes for your son's speedy recovery!

  2. Yea it was tough.. Yes, that's exactly how I feel girl, work out work out, and go nowhere.

  3. Also, I get all self conscious, because people think you just aren't working hard enough.