I was in the bathroom, thank God I made it.. I waited till whoever was in there left, and my eyes were so red. Like I was crying for a week straight! Of course someone came into the bathroom and I felt like a douche. Luckily, I like her and she is pretty new like me, and I just told her some people are just rude. She totally understood.. but then my Supervisor walked it. Talk about freaking embarrassing. I hate people to see me cry, but especially people who are my superiors, argh. However, about an hour later she sent me an email and asked me if I was interested in playing bunco with her group, lol.
I've been really depressed.. and haven't been keeping up with my eating. I gained back 15 of the 30 I've lost. :( I just start thinking what the hell, it will never happen! I'm such a loser man..
I decided to start watching my carb intake anyway.. My Dr. says that to be able to even lose weight with the PCOS, I have to do it, because regular carbs make my insulin spike, so I'm insulin resistant. I just see so many people freaking lose the weight and they seem so much happier.
Anyway, I started back to that on Monday, I am down 2 pounds, which thrills me. Since I'm thinking about the WLS surgery again (finally have insurance that covers it!).. I know I will have to do a low carb/high protein diet in the future anyway. Plus with the PCOS, its just what I have to do if I want to get healthy!
We had a great vacation to the outer banks. I love it there. I was a little depressed coming back to real life.
My Dh is not feeling church again.. Ugh. I feel like such a fool for ever being optimistic that things would change.. however, I have also been feeling overwhelmed by everything going on. I honestly do not know how some people eat, breath, sleep church things and work full time jobs/raise their kids etc.
I'm feeling anxious for Monday, my son has his ear tube/adenoid surgery. :(
Anyway, it was just a hard day. I'm glad I'm off tomorrow. I think I will get my toes done!!
No more crying!